The Decline Begins

Well, that's it for Western Civilization. Thanks to gay marriage, it's all over now.

At least, that's the message in this article from the Boston Globe. Columnist Jeff Jacoby just about wrenches his arm out of its socket patting himself on the back for his successful prediction of the incalculable damage that gay marriage would do to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

His points are unassailable. Here are some examples of the dire consequences that are now coming about because of the legalization of gay marriage:

1. "Massachusetts rolled out a new marriage license shorn of any reference to bride and groom. Couples getting married were now to be officially identified as 'Party A' and 'Party B.' The department of public health has proposed a similar rewrite of the state's birth certificate, replacing 'mother' and 'father' with 'Parent A' and 'Parent B.'"

HORRORS!! Language on official certificates is being changed to correspond with reality!

2. "Last month, lawmakers in Ontario enacted Bill 171, stripping the statute books of all references to gender in connection with marriage. No longer do Ontario's laws use words and phrases like 'husband,' 'wife,' 'widow,' 'widower,' or 'persons of the opposite sex.' And it is not just family and marriage laws that have been de-sexed. Bill 171 eliminates the traditional language of matrimony from more than 70 provincial statutes, including the Gasoline Tax Act and the Public Libraries Act."

Oh, Jeff, say it isn't so! You mean, same-sex couples in Ontario can no longer be referred to as "persons of the opposite sex"? Where will it end?

3. When Jada Pinkett Smith recently gave a speech at Harvard, she made comments that made members of Harvard's Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender, and Supporters Alliance "feel uncomfortable." In retaliation, the group (are you ready for this?) "demanded -- and received -- an apology."

No, no, NO! A speaker actually apologized for some of her remarks?

That's it. Jeff Jacoby has opened our eyes to this festering danger in our midst. How could we have been so blind? The Christianists and conservatives were right all along!

Don't you see? If gay marriage continues to spread, language on other forms may be changed. Your very own state might stop using the terms "husband" and "wife" on marriage certificates!

And worst of all -- and the Ivory Madonna can barely type these horrible words, much less contemplate a world in which they become true -- other celebrities might (gasp) apologize for remarks.


Sheesh!

We were promised the end of Western Civilization. We were promised fire and brimstone, the wrath of God, eternal damnation. Special effects to make Cecil B. DeMille jealous.

Instead, after nearly a year of same-sex marriage in Massachusetts, almost two years in Cananda, and nearly five years of Civil Unions in Vermont -- the worst they can offer is altered language on official documents?

What sort of milquetoast God do they believe in, whose infinite wrath can only conjure up administrative corrections to the language of official forms?

The moral of this story? Don't believe the Christianists and conservatives when they predict all sorts of dire consequences. They made the same predictions about interracial marriage, women's rights, and eating shellfish. They were wrong then, they are wrong now, and the wonder is that anyone still pays any attention at all to what they say.

-M

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The Ivory Madonna's story is told in Dance for the Ivory Madonna by Don Sakers.