What To Do About Iraq

Everyone says that nobody has a solution to the mess in Iraq. Well, they haven't asked the Ivory Madonna.

In June 2005 she told you the solution, and she's going to repeat it here. Take notes, folks, because there will be a quiz.

Step One: Admit that the presence of US troops makes the problem worse, and commit to getting them out of Iraq as soon as possible.

Step Two: Go to the United Nations and apologize. Apologize for creating this mess, apologize for making it worse, apologize for saying nasty things about the U.N. If Bush must go, hat-in-hand, then so be it. Let him wait in the snow for the Secretary-General to admit him. If his stubborn pride won't allow him to go, then send Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. The world must see that we know we've made a mistake, and we're sorry.

Step Three: Ask the U.N. to take over in Iraq. With any luck, they'll put together a multinational force with lots of representation from Muslim nations, but it's not our place to tell the U.N. how. We've screwed up so badly, it's not our place to tell anyone how to clean up.

Step Four: Pay for it. Make a national commitment to provide the U.N. with the money to get the job done. Yes, that's going to mean higher taxes, elimination of the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy, and we will have to give up some of the things we were hoping we could accomplish. Tough. We broke it, we need to pay for it.

Step Five: Shut up and get the hell out of the way. We can't be telling people what to do and trying to impose our will on the world any more. The U.S. has no credibility on the world stage right now. Now is the time for us to follow orders, not give them.

Step Six: Get U.S. troops out of Iraq as soon as the U.N. thinks we should...but make it sooner rather than later. Months, not years.

If we follow these recommendations, we have a chance of getting out of this in an honorable, workable fashion. We have a chance to begin repairing the damaged reputation of the U.S. We have a chance to start getting the world back on our side.

There, that wasn't too difficult, was it?

M

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The Ivory Madonna's story is told in Dance for the Ivory Madonna by Don Sakers.