Monday, August 16, 2004

Assorted Bits of Advice

Memo to Floridians: The Ivory Madonna is sorry about your losses due to Hurricane Charley. She wishes to express her sympathy with the victims of Hurricane Georges in 1998, Hurricanes Erin and Opal in 1995, Hurricane Andrew in 1992, Agnes in 1972, Betsy in 1965, Cleo in 1964, Donna in 1960, and hundreds of other lesser hurricanes and tropical storms that have ravaged Florida over the past three centuries.

She also wishes to remind Floridians that there is absolutely no law against moving to a safer state.

Memo to Republicans Who Are Disenchanted With Bush: The Ivory Madonna feels your pain. The economy is in the toilet. The United States has lost what few friends it had in the world. Both the Federal Budget Deficit and the Trade Deficit are at the highest levels ever. The rich keep getting richer, the poor keep getting poorer, and the middle class are sinking lower and lower. Civil liberties continue to vanish under Yellow Alerts, Orange Alerts, Red Alerts, Chartruese Alerts. Almost a thousand U.S. troops have died in Iraq, all because of Weapons of Mass Destruction that weren't there and an alleged connection between Saddam and al-Queada that doesn't exist.

And yet you just can't bring yourself to vote for Kerry.

The Ivory Madonna understands. Her first suggestion is that you consider casting a protest vote for Nader. Many other Republicans are doing the same.

Yeah, the Ivory Madonna hears you. Nader? Yuck.

There is hope. The Ivory Madonna reminds you that there is absolutely no law requiring you to vote. You don't want to vote for Bush, you can't vote for Kerry or Nader. So stay home this time. It's okay. Really.

Memo to Virginians: You don't have to stay there. Honestly. There's no law that says you can't move.

The Ivory Madonna's story is told in Dance for the Ivory Madonna by Don Sakers.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Homeschooling On the Rise

So homeschooling is on the rise, with over a million students being homeschooled last year (link). Thirty percent of parents said they chose homeschooling for "the flexibility to teach religious or moral lessons."

Translated: "Public schools refuse to teach my kid the ridiculous superstitions, absurd myths, and social prejudices that my religion espouses. I am aware that none of these beliefs could possibly survive comparison with other, more rational streams of thought -- therefore, I do not want my kid exposed to any other opinions. Besides, I don't want my precious, purebred child to associate with people of different racial/social/economic backgrounds, in case he/she might bring one of them home. Therefore, I will keep my kid out of public school, and indoctrinate him/her myself."

One hears unspoken words echoing in the background. Words like "evolution," "blacks," "Jews," "ho-mo-sexuals."

One has to wonder...when that kid grows up, and gets a job working with people of diverse backgrounds -- what's going to happen? How will the poor kid know what to do?

I suppose these parents feel that they are rich enough that their kids won't have to work.

Pity it's the kids -- not the parents -- who will suffer.


The Ivory Madonna's story is told in Dance for the Ivory Madonna by Don Sakers.

The Darfur Airlift

So the UN has begun airdrops of food and other relief supplies into Darfur (link). About bloody time.

Now wouldn't that be a magnificent use of the United States's military power and air superiority? Wouldn't it be great if, instead of smart bombs, we could be dropping smart aid packages?

Oh, but wait, the US military is tied up in the disastrous aftermath of an unprovoked war.

Ah, well, who cares? Not only does Darfur not have any oil, but they're just a bunch of dahkies anyways....

Is it any wonder that everyone in the world hates us?


The Ivory Madonna's story is told in Dance for the Ivory Madonna by Don Sakers.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Who's Gagging Speech?

Opponents of gay rights are quick to raise the specter of free speech being gagged. Part of the Gay Agenda, they say, is to classify opposition to gay rights as "hate speech," and to punish those who speak their minds.

Well, here's a case of "A church choir director [who] was fired after church officials took issue with a newspaper opinion piece he wrote urging support of gay marriage." Dennis Adam Ray, choir director at the First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in Sebring, FL, was fired after he expressed his pro-gay opinions in a July 22 guest column in a local newspaper.

Punishing those who speak their minds is not part of the Gay Agenda...but apparently it is part of the Christianist Agenda.


The Ivory Madonna's story is told in Dance for the Ivory Madonna by Don Sakers.