Friday, February 23, 2007


More and more, the Ivory Madonna is describing herself as a "non-theist." She prefers this term to "atheist," and here's why.

Ask an atheist if god (or gods) exist, and the atheist will treat the question as one worthy of serious consideration. The answer is "no," but the question is entertained.

Ask a non-theist the same question, and the non-theist won't even admit that the question is worthy of consideration.

Perhaps an analogy will help.

Let's consider Frodo Baggins, hero of Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings. This plucky little Hobbit bore the One Ring all the way to Mordor and into the fires of Mount Doom, thereby saving the world. Afterward, he went into the West, to live happily ever after with the Elves and Valar.

Imagine running into someone who calls himself a Frodoist. This person is convinced that Frodo exists. Ask him, "Does Frodo exist?" and his answer will be an enthusiastic "yes!"

A Frodo-agnostic is not sure if Frodo exists or not. Asked "Does Frodo exist?" the Frodo-Agnostic answers, "I'm not sure."

An a-Frodoist is sure Frodo doesn't exist. Asked "Does Frodo exist?" the a-Frodoist answers, "No, I'm certain that Frodo does not exist."

A non-Frodoist (which describes just about all of us), when asked "Does Frodo exist?" answers, "What an idiotic question! It's a great story, but if you have to ask whether Frodo actually exists, you are either (a) a very small child, or (b) out of your flipping mind."

The Ivory Madonna trusts that you get the point.

No one is a Frodoist, Frodo-agnostic, or a-Frodist. We are all non-Frodoists. (The Ivory Madonna leaves out a very few True believers.) Similarly, we are all non-Rhett-Butlerists, non-Bugs-Bunnyists, and non-Zhivagoists.

In the same way, the Ivory Madonna is a non-theist.

Like The Lord of the Rings, the whole God/Bible/Jehovah/Jesus thing is a story. Also true of the Koran, the Greek and Norse myths, Hindu mythology, etc. One can enjoy, appreciate, and critique all or parts of these tales as literature.

But when it comes to the point of seriously asking whether god (or gods) are real...well, you have the mentality of either (a) a very small child or (b) a flipping idiot.


The Ivory Madonna's story is told in Dance for the Ivory Madonna by Don Sakers.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Idiots Against Cancer Vaccine

According to this story, Texas Governor Rick Perry "issued an order Friday making Texas the first state to require that schoolgirls get vaccinated against the sexually transmitted virus that causes cervical cancer."

The article goes on to say that "Perry sidestepped opposition in the Legislature from conservatives and parents' rights groups who fear such a requirement would condone premarital sex and interfere with the way Texans raise their children."

Excuse me?

For more than half a century we have been anxiously awaiting a cure for cancer. Okay, technically this is a vaccine, not a cure, but the Ivory Madonna is not about to quibble over technicalities.

We have a cure for cancer. And there are idiots who are against it.

We don't have food pills, we don't have flying cars, but we now have a fucking cure for cancer. And these nitwits oppose it.

If these fools don't want to belong to the 21st Century, the Ivory Madonna sees no reason that they should be brought into it, kicking and screaming. Let them stay in an antiquated, primitive world that doesn't include such scientific wonders as a cure for cancer.

But why should those fools be allowed to take innocent little girls with them? And not just their own little girls, the way Christian Scientists and the Amish do...these fools want everyone's little girls to stay in the dark ages. They're not content to let their own little girls die of cancer -- they want to prevent everyone's little girls from getting the vaccine.

That's not just's criminal.

Listen, all of you who are against the vaccine -- go back to your primitive, pre-Millennial world. Be like the Amish...withdraw from the technological society you hate so much, leave the rest of us to enjoy our medical progress and cures for cancer. We promise we won't ever pollute your bodies with the treatments and cures that 21st-century medicine brings us.

But don't force the rest of us to live in the dark ages with you. And don't take our little girls.


The Ivory Madonna's story is told in Dance for the Ivory Madonna by Don Sakers.