Rescue Auto Workers, Not Auto Companies

The buzz is all about a rescue plan for the big three American auto companies. If they fail, the reasoning goes, lots of people will lose their jobs.

Let's assume that Congress passes (and the Buffoon-in-Chief signs) a bailout for the automakers. Forgive the Ivory Madonna for being cynical, but she doubts that any of that money would actually reach the workers whose jobs are in danger. Instead, the money would go to the managers, the stockholders, the CEOs.

Look at the most current proposals for a rescue: Allow the companies to enter structured bankruptcy so they can shut down unprofitable divisions, merge the Big Three into the Big Two or even the Big One, reduce the number of dealerships...like all that won't cause lots of people to lose their jobs. And this is the best-case scenario.

(But at least the CEOs and upper management would survive, and even profit. At least the stockholders would be left with smaller companies that would, in a few years, increase their stock prices and start paying substantial dividends again.

Feh! The Ivory Madonna says, let the auto companies die. Rescue the workers, not the companies.

How? Extend unemployment benefits to last the next few years, at least. Extend Medicare/Medicaid coverage to everyone on unemployment. If someone loses a job because of the demise of the auto industry, make sure they don't suffer from it. (And those out-of-work CEOs who will leave in their private jets with multimillion-dollar severance packages? Hell, let them collect unemployment as well. At minimum wage.)

M.

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The Ivory Madonna's story is told in Dance for the Ivory Madonna by Don Sakers.
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Neil Armstrong

Seth Godin recently posted a typically thought-provoking essay about picking a company spokesperson. I agree with his point, but disagree with his example of a bad spokesperson: Neil Armstrong.

In part, Seth said:

Armstrong could have taught the world about science. He could have done work that would have won him a Nobel Peace Prize. He could have had a huge impact on his country and the world. Instead, he mostly disappeared.

I want to offer a different perspective about Neil Armstrong. Sure, his role as spokesperson was important, but it was overshadowed by two other roles he played.

First, he was a surrogate for (a) NASA and (b) the entire human race. As a surrogate for NASA, he stood for all the tens of thousands of people who were responsible for putting the first human on the Moon. As a surrogate for the entire human race, he stood for all of us ("one giant leap for mankind.") For a surrogate, you want Everyman...someone ordinary, almost colorless. (Long before Apollo, a science fiction writer published a story in which the first man on the moon was named Armstrong. Amazing prediction? Not at all...the author later explained that he had chosen the name to resonate with "Jack Armstrong, the all-American man" -- because he reasoned that the first guy to step on the Moon would be a generic "all-American man.")

The second of Neil Armstrong's roles was the guy who accomplished the Greatest Thing Ever. After you've been the first person in history to step on the Moon, ANYTHING else you do is an anticlimax. Anything else you do, you're "trading on your fame for a lesser cause," or "making a fool of yourself," or "engaging in a pathetic attempt to gain additional glory." Anything else you do trivializes the accomplishment of the Moon landing. Just imagine the attacks if Armstrong endorsed a liberal or conservative cause or agenda.

Remember, Armstrong is a surrogate for everyone on Earth. He shouldn't be taking sides. He belongs to history; as a name and a symbol, he'll last as long as the Human race does. You don't expect the Pyramids or the Great Wall of China to speak for particular causes; you expect them to sit silently and be admired by posterity. Armstrong's in the same league.

No, once you've been the first person in history to step on the Moon, the only gracious thing to do is drop out of the public eye, retire to your farm, and live out your ordinary life as an ordinary guy.

-M

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The Ivory Madonna's story is told in Dance for the Ivory Madonna by Don Sakers.
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By the Power Vested in Me...

If marriage is a sacred institution that comes from god...

...then why do religious officials marry people with the words "By the power vested in me by the State..."? Shouldn't it be "...vested in my by god?"

-M

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The Ivory Madonna's story is told in Dance for the Ivory Madonna by Don Sakers.
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Republicans on the Run

With the Democratic victory in Mississippi, the Republicans are on the run. The November election looks to be a rout, with the Democratic Party triumphing across the board.

Which means the Republicans are getting desperate. And we've all learned just how dangerous they can be when they're desperate. There is nothing that Cheney and company won't do to retain power...nothing.

Some people are worried that there will be another terrorist attack before November. Some are even worried that, in the wake of such an attack, Bush would suspend elections and try to hold onto the White House.

The Ivory Madonna didn't used to worry about such a scenario. In order to carry out such a coup, the White House would need the unquestioning support of the military...and Bush just doesn't have it.

Lately, though, friends have suggested a more sinister scenario that might have a chance to succeed. Try this on as a thought experiment: Before the election in November, the nation suffers a major terrorist attack. In the course of this attack, assassins kill both Bush and the Democratic nominee (presumably Mr. Obama). President Cheney declares martial law, cancels the election, and disappears into a Secure Undisclosed Location -- defended by fantatical Christian soldiers who believe they are fighting on the side of god.

But nah, that would require someone with influence in some radical foreign country like (say) Saudia Arabia, friends and supporters among the military and the radical Christian right, a total disregard for law and the Constitution, and contempt for the opinions of his countryfolk.

Oh.

-M

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The Ivory Madonna's story is told in Dance for the Ivory Madonna by Don Sakers.
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