Monday, May 24, 2004

Won't SOMEone Think of the CHILdren?

I ran across a really annoying article (link) on something called IntellectualConservative.com. This one's by Sarah Alexander, and it's titled "This One's For the Children - On Gay Marriage." I'm reminded of nothing more than Helen Lovejoy from The Simpsons. If you're not a Simpsons fan, Helen Lovejoy is the Pastor's wife, at the front of every protesting mob with the shrill cry of "Won't SOMEone think of the CHILdren?"

Sarah starts off:
She smiles, she dances for today; just for today, it is a happy day. The day her Mother is getting married. Or should I say Mothers? As I scanned through articles covering the first gay marriage in Massachusetts, I am saddened. Saddened to be living in a world that seems to have gone mad. Do they not see what they are doing to our children?


"What they are doing to our children"...uh, letting them grow up in secure homes with two legal parents, rather than the insecurity of one "real" parent and another adult, unrecognized by the state and with no legally-sanctioned parental rights? Why should this sadden you, Sarah?

Helen...er, Sarah...goes on:
The Bible says in Proverbs that we are to “speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves. For the weak and defenseless.” In this article, I want to be a voice for the children.


Well, guess what, Sarah? The Bible also says "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to exercise authority over the man, but to be in silence." (1 Timothy 2: 11-12) So shut up, okay? Because if you don't, you're breaking God's law.

Sarah, heedless of God's law, forges on:
Consider what Pitirim Sorokin, founder and first chair of the Sociology Department at Harvard, says about marriage: “The most essential sociocultural patterning of a newborn human organism is achieved by the family. It is the first and most efficient sculptor of human material, shaping the physical, behavioral, mental, moral and sociocultural characteristics of practically every individual. …From remotest past, married parents have been the most effective teachers of their children.”


Uh, Sarah? Honey? That's why we all think it's a GOOD thing for gay parents to be able to marry.

After a little hysterical blather, Sarah then says:
Do you know that over the past 20 years, there has been a huge outbreak of children needing psychologists and counseling? People today have a huge need for emotional healing. Over the past 20 years, divorce rates have sky rocketed...


Uh, Sarah? Dear? Whatever has caused this "oubreak" and "sky rocketing" over the last 20 years, it isn't married gay people. Because you know what, Sarah, sweetie? Gay marriage hasn't existed over the past 20 years. Not in North America, not even in Europe except in the past four years. Have you been away? On another planet, maybe?

Or maybe Sarah just has a poor grasp of the concept of "causality." Maybe Timothy knew a lot of women like Sarah, which is why he wanted them to stay silent...

Sarah goes on to say: "My prediction is that if two lesbians raise a little girl/boy, the child will have a very high chance of either committing suicide or turning homosexual himself." Hmmm. All the statistics we have, say that little girls and little boys raised by two Lesbians grow up to be living, well-adjusted heterosexuals...and those who grow up to be gay, are living, well-adjusted gays. (I admit, we don't have very many statistics about "girl/boys" raised by Lesbians...or by straight couples, for that matter...because hermaphrodites are so rare, which is because our society has this really weird thing going on about intersexuals, but don't get me started on that.) So your "prediction" is, as we say in the business, WRONG.

About this time, Sarah finds it necessary to give the standard Politically Correct disclaimer:
In this article I have addressed a very sensitive issue. I apologize if I have offended anyone. I don’t hate homosexuals. I only wish that they could see that there is a way out of the lifestyle.


You know what, Sarah? I don’t hate Christians. I only wish that they could see that there is a way out of the lifestyle. ( I apologize if I have offended anyone...which apparently makes it okay to tell a bunch of lies and say a bunch of nasty things about people.)

Sarah drivels on:
Homosexuality is wrong. When you are driving and see a stop sign you need to stop. If you don’t, chaos could occur. It is the same with God’s laws. He placed his law there for the benefit of mankind. When we don’t obey God’s law, chaos will happen.


"Let your women keep silence in the communities: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law." (1 Corinthians 14:33-34) (Emphasis mine.)

Notice, I'm not even going pursue the question of whether Sarah eats pork and/or shellfish, or labors on the Sabbath (her article was dated 5/23/04, which was a Sunday...but the Sabbath is actually on Saturday, according to God's law, and besides I don't think Sarah really put a lot of labor into her article), or wears garments of two fabrics woven together. She's already run the stop sign by violating God's law.

Sarah, lamb, if you want to keep God's law, that's all very well and good. But if you're going to break God's law to insist that other people follow it, then there's one more bit of Scripture that you should pay attention to:

"Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck that is in your brother's eye." (Luke 6:42)

In the Bible, Jesus doesn't say one single thing about gay people. But he makes it abundantly clear how he feels about hypocrites: He doesn't hate them, but he sure wishes that they could see that there is a way out of the lifestyle.

Or are you saying, perhaps, that you have the power to pick and choose among God's laws, to decide which ones you will obey and which you will ignore? That, in effect, you are wiser than God?

Isn't there some kind of Commandment against blashpemy? Isn't it...oh, yeah...the very first one?

Anyone standing next to Sarah, I suggest you step away quickly. 'Cause it would seem there is a thunderbolt with her name on it, headed her way....

M.



The Ivory Madonna's story is told in Dance for the Ivory Madonna by Don Sakers.

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